There’s a certain kind of humor that isn’t really funny. The kind you laugh at because if you didn’t, you’d probably be screaming. That’s exactly what I thought when I saw a story about a D.C. driver who’s been robbed so many times they’re now reduced to pleading with thieves via a handwritten note taped to their car window.
The note read:
“There is nothing of value in this car. Only restaurant supplies + broken dreams. Plz don’t break the windows for the fifth time.”
Five. Times. Imagine that. You start with a nice car window, the way God and the manufacturer intended, and end up treating it like a consumable product — like paper towels or AA batteries — because in our nation’s capital, it’s apparently open season on anything with four wheels.
It’s both heartbreaking and ridiculous, the kind of thing that sums up modern urban America in one sad, Sharpie-scrawled plea. And while it’s easy to chuckle at the gallows humor (“broken dreams” is a nice touch), there’s nothing remotely funny about what’s happening in D.C. right now.
A City in Crisis
This wasn’t just some random internet meme. A reporter from WJLA, Nick Minock, posted the photo on X, and the timing couldn’t have been more fitting — it hit the same day President Donald Trump announced a federal takeover of the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department.
Yep, Trump dusted off Section 740 of the District of Columbia Home Rule Act and put the city’s police under federal control. Why? Because the crime stats aren’t just bad — they’re third-world-banana-republic bad.
According to Trump, car thefts have doubled over the past five years, and carjackings have more than tripled. To drive the point home (pun intended), he’s deploying 800 National Guard members to help restore order. The D.C. Police Union is cheering him on, with chairman Greggory Pemberton saying the city’s crime problem is completely out of control.
Begging Thieves Not to Smash Your Car
If you live in a decent neighborhood, it’s hard to picture what “out of control” really looks like. In D.C., it means law-abiding citizens leaving notes for criminals, as if the guys smashing their windows are reasonable people who just need to hear your side of the story.
“Please, sir, I can’t afford another $300 repair bill this week. Also, there’s nothing in here but ketchup packets and maybe a bag of stale croutons. Spare me, I beg you.”
This isn’t just a problem for car owners — it’s a symptom of a city where the basic idea of law and order has been replaced by a shrug and a roll of the dice. Do you get to your destination with your belongings intact, or do you come back to find the inside of your car looking like a raccoon got into it? Nobody knows.
The Federalization Question
Critics will wring their hands and talk about “overreach,” but let’s be honest — when a city gets so bad that ordinary people feel the need to negotiate with burglars, maybe it’s time for someone else to step in. The police union thinks so. Large parts of the public think so. And frankly, I think so.
Trump’s move isn’t just a D.C. story — it’s a warning to every major city coasting along under soft-on-crime policies. If your car break-ins, assaults, and murders keep climbing, don’t be surprised when someone with the authority to fix it decides to cut through the local politics and just get it done.
The Bigger Picture
Social media users saw that viral note and immediately got the message. One called it “the strongest argument to federalize DC I’ve ever seen.” Another cut straight to the point: “Who wants to live like this?”
Good question. And maybe that’s the real tragedy here. D.C. is supposed to be the showcase city for America — the capital, the crown jewel, the place people from all over the world come to see. Instead, it’s becoming a place where you can’t even park your car without leaving a sign that says, in essence, “There’s nothing to steal here but my dignity.”
If that’s the best we can do, then the “broken dreams” part of that note isn’t just about one car owner. It’s about the state of the city itself.
